The Final Update Before D-Day

I don't think I'll post another blog before Baby Girl arrives. I really don't see a need to. Something may change over the weekend, but I doubt it.

For the first time I had multiple strong contractions during the NST. It's always nice to see my body doing what it's supposed to. Her heart rate was good, and she passed with flying colors (as usual). Then she decided to show off during the BPP. She did everything she was supposed to in record time. She even let us get two (semi blurry) pictures!

I'm still being induced Monday, unless she decides to come on her own before then. My doctor is using a pill to induce labor. He said it could be as long as Wednesday before she's born, because she's not ready and I'm not dilated or effaced. There's also an increased risk of C-Section. Let me pause here and say I CANNOT have a C-Section. It's not happening. I've delivered all of my babies vaginally and I'm not stopping now. I am terrified of a C-Section for two reasons. 1) I refuse to have an epidural. I know too many people who've had complications, and it's not worth the risk. 2) My cousin died during a C-Section. No one ever explained to my family why she died. They're using her story as a teaching tool at our local community college, so someone must know what happened. Until I know, I won't have an epidural or C-Section.

I've had several prayers throughout this pregnancy. One is that this labor will make Hope's look hard. I was induced at 9:00 p.m. (same this time), active labor started at 3 a.m. and she was born at 6:12 a.m. For a while they had to wake me up to push! I had Ambien and Demerol in me and was practically asleep for the first few hours after she was born. It wasn't all roses and rainbows, but it was about as good as it gets for a first time mom. With William I was induced around 7 a.m. and labor started around 12:45 a.m. and he was born around 2:15 a.m. That happened exactly as my doctor expected for a late miscarriage. I really feel once labor starts my body knows what to do and just does it. I hope I'm right and this time is quick and relatively easy. Shaun has Tuesday and Wednesday off work, so if she's born on Wednesday he won't have much time with her and probably won't stay that night in the hospital. This is a huge concern for me. He had to work the day after William was born, and it was hard on both of us. Yes, that situation was a little different, but I still want him to have as much time with Baby Girl as possible.

Please pray for a safe and healthy delivery for Baby Girl and me. Pray for Shaun and me to be well rested when active labor starts. Pray for Hope and the family she's staying with next week. Pray that Shaun's mom can come for the delivery or shortly after. Above all, pray for peace for our family during labor and delivery, as well as the transition to a family of four.

One final note. Shaun insists if she's born in the middle of the night he won't text anyone the stats. I'm not sure if he'll post it on Facebook right away, or if he'll wait until a decent hour to contact immediate family before posting it. Don't be offended if you don't receive a text right away; I've tried to keep the list to five people or less. My mom will take pictures with my phone that I'll post in a new album when I have time. Shaun will take pictures with his and keep everyone informed when he has the chance. Thanks for all your prayers and support! Next time you see us we might be a family of four!

Needs vs. Wants

I have been trying so hard to purge our household of anything we don't need. I've tried to think of the baby registries as "wants" as opposed to "needs". Because of this, when people ask what we still need, I draw a complete blank. So today I'm reviewing all three registries and narrowing them down to needs and wants. Wherever I feel necessary, I will explain an item, because I know our needs are different from yours.

Baby Girl

Needs

1. Elastic or woven headbands to hold her beautiful bows (any and all colors)
2. Bins/Baskets 
1. One for diapering supplies 
2. One for bathing supplies
3. Two small ones to hold hats and bloomers
3. My glider from Edwardsville to get to her nursery (pm me for details)
4. Bassinet sheets
5. Med/Lg sleep sacks
6. Diaper changing pad for diaper bag
7. Avent NATURAL bottles, small size
8. Outlet covers
9. Pink step stool from Target (I chose matching ones for both girls so I can paint their names on them. This is a need for Baby because I need to use it to reach in the crib when we lower it.)
10. Under bed storage tote
11. Humidifier (there's a pink one we registered for. It's available at the Glen Carbon Target, and it's the best one I've found.)
12. Trash can for dirty diapers or diaper pail from Babies R Us

Wants

1. Toy hammock
2. Ottoman for glider
3. Shades for car windows
4. Mirror for back seat
5. Car seat guard (to protect Shaun's leather seats)
6. Car seat toys
7. Microwave steam sterilizer for bottles
8. GermX
9. Thermometer for bath water
10. Bath toy storage container
11. Temporal thermometer
12. WET Brush
13. Crib mattress pad
14. White hot spoons, bowls, etc.
15. CD player

Hope
Needs

1. 5 Shelf closet organizer (hangs from a bar and allows her to store daily outfits)
2. WET brush (She's been begging for one for a while. They're supposed to be amazing at getting out tangles.)
3. Pink step stool from Target (a need because there's still things around the house she can't reach. If both girls have their own, I'll always know who left it out).
4. Under bed storage tote
5. Closet organization kit 

Wants

1. Maleficent
2. Grace (American Girl books)
3. I Survived book series
4. Annie (new movie)
5. Wreck it Ralph
6. Big Hero 6
7. Brave
8. Toy Story movies
9. The LEGO movie
10. Muppets Most Wanted (and the first one)

Amie
Needs

1. Breast milk storage supplies
2. Ice pack for breast milk
3. Washable nursing pads
4. Company (though please text before you come over!)
5. Babies R Us and Target gift cards to pick up anything we've forgotten

Wants

1. Amazon gift cards for Kindle
2. Blue Gatorade
3. Snacks for power nursing sessions
4. WalMart gift cards for nursing bras/tanks

Shaun
Needs
Casey's gift cards
WalMart gift cards

Wants
Diet Dr. Pepper (so he can stay awake after Baby keeps him up all night.)

That's absolutely everything I can think of. If I've told you something that's not on here, know that I specifically didn't list it because I already told you. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm constantly asking for things; I'm just trying to figure out the most efficient way to let everyone know what we still need. Above all else, we need prayer in the coming weeks. Thanks for all your support!

Induction Date

Good news: I don't have preeclampsia! I'm relieved, because multiple miscarriages and gestational diabetes are enough complications for me. Better news: If Baby Girl doesn't come on her own by Thursday, I'm scheduled to be induced next Monday night. It looks like I'm just not meant to have the natural birth I've always wanted. As long as she arrives safe and healthy and I make it through safe and healthy, that's all that matters. We're all breathing a sigh of relief tonight and incredibly thankful to finally have a plan. That's all for now. By this time next week, we'll be preparing to have a baby!

Who's Timing?

1) Miscarriage
2) Stillbirth
3) Chromosomal disorder
4) Something going wrong during labor and delivery
5) The timing of her arrival (too early, too late, too whatever)

These are the top five things I've worried about this pregnancy. There are others (many others) but these are what have kept me panicking the most. Right now the hot button topic is when will she arrive? For a while we just wanted to make sure she stayed to full term. Now that we're within a week of that, we're all a little more eager for her to arrive. I'm counting kicks almost every waking hour. Her due date is on my weekend with my daughter, so I wasn't worried about her being there. Now it doesn't look like we'll make it that long, which brings up a slew of "what ifs". What if she comes between the 31st and the 4th? Hope will have to miss her first week of dance classes because there won't be anyone available to take her. While it may seem like a little thing and something that shouldn't bother anyone, it bothers me. I want this birth and the subsequent transitions to disrupt her life as little as possible. We all know having a baby changes everything, and there's going to be enough changes in her life in the coming years. Mama bear in me wants her to go to her first week of dance. What if she comes on the 28th? Who will take Hope to her dad's? My mom (her usual ride if I'm unavailable) will be with us at the hospital. Obviously Shaun won't be able to take her.

Something about yesterday's sermon hit me. I need to seek God's will, not man's. She will come when God's ready. Not when Shaun wants (yesterday), not when Hope wants (Christmas), not when I want (this week). God is still teaching me about his timing. He's still teaching me to fully trust Him. You'd think after everything we've been through I'd be there. Unfortunately, the sin of worry quickly creeps into my life. Often it's so fast I don't even realize it's happening. This week my prayer is that God will align my will with his. As I'm preparing for this appointment later today I keep praying for God's will. I'm praying to be content in all circumstances, even if it means a scheduled induction next week. As it is I'm not having the natural birth I wanted.

One last thing; I want to say thanks again to everyone who's helped through this pregnancy. Another sweet friend dropped off a swing and bunting for her car seat on Friday. A friend from church properly installed her seat yesterday. More friends have sent cards and gifts this week. We greatly appreciate each one. And I have a generous friend who has agreed to keep Hope overnight if the baby comes when she's with me. My family has helped organize and sent supplies we've asked for. Shaun's family is still sending clothes in various sizes. We're so thankful for all the help. I'm sure I've forgotten someone, but know that whatever you've done, no matter how trivial, we appreciate it. Thanks again for all the prayers, we wouldn't be here without them.

More News

My sweet aunt drove me to my appointment today. Everything went surprisingly well! Baby Girl cooperated for the NST and we finished the BPP in record time! She even moved her hands and feet from her face long enough for us to get multiple pictures. It looks like she's smiling in one! We can't wait to hold her and squeeze those chubby little cheeks.

Then I saw the doctor...

My blood pressure is normal. I don't have any other symptoms of preeclampsia except there was protein in my urine. So I have to do a 24 hour urine collection from Sunday to Monday. If that comes back high, I'm sure we'll induce on Monday. At this point, I don't really mind either way. It would bother me to carry another pregnancy risk, but as long as she's born healthy and I make it through, that's all that matters. If we meet her a little early, so be it. Otherwise we'll meet her sometime in the next week and a half or so. Continued prayers are appreciated.

BIG BLESSING!!!!
We had a baby sprinkle today from Shaun's work. They gave us a brand new crib and mattress! We're so thankful for friends who would come together and help us. Now Baby Girl has almost everything she needs. If you want to help at this point, Target or Babies R Us gift cards are the way to go. There's a few things we registered for we'd like to pick up, and with Babies R Us we continue to earn rewards after she's born.

Once again, thank you for all the prayers and support. We're anxious to bring home our newest princess!

New Due Date of Sorts

I finally talked with my doctor! I feel so much more comfortable with the situation. The NST and BPP went beautifully today. Of course, since she cooperated so well she covered her face with her hand, so we didn't get any new pictures. That's okay, in about two weeks she won't have a choice!

My blood pressure was back to normal, so I'm not being induced before Thursday. I say before Thursday because if it spikes at any point for the rest of the pregnancy, I'll be induced. If all continues to go well I'll be induced sometime in the 39th week. That's August 28th--September 3rd. I'm still on modified bed rest. I can go about normal activities, but I can't work or do any heavy lifting, and I have to lay on my left side for an hour each morning, afternoon and evening. Our bags are finally packed and ready to go whenever she decides to show up. My mom and Shaun would like someone to go with me to the remainder of my appointments, just in case they decide to induce. They're August 20th (10:30), 24th (10:00) and 27th (10:30), if anyone's available. I'm typically gone three hours or so. If you're interested, pm me. Thanks for all the prayers and support! A big shout out to Stacey for finishing the nursery today and Andrea for keeping my doctor in the loop with all my weekend problems. I can't say it enough, I have the best friends in the world!

Why We Raced Out of Church This Morning

My feet were swollen Friday and Saturday night. After seeing my Facebook posts about it, one of my friends (who works with my doctor) offered to take my blood pressure at church. When she finished, she looked at me and said "You're going to the hospital". She got Shaun and I took care of some last minute details in the church nursery.

At the hospital, I was admitted and they ran a series of blood tests and an NST. Baby girl was maneuvering away from the heart monitor and unhappy with the change in routine. I drank some ice water and used a small fan to try to cool down. I've felt excessively hot all day, and I'm normally cold natured. I was diagnosed with pregnancy induced hypertension and sent home on modified bed rest until Baby Girl arrives. I'm allowed to get up and cook meals, and I can sit on the couch or with my feet propped up in a recliner, but I'm not to do any work. So whatever isn't done now, isn't getting done before she's born. I'll see my doctor tomorrow, and he may order something different, but I doubt it. My plan is to continue doing what I've been doing since late last week; sleep when I feel tired and relax as much as possible. I can still drive, so I can continue taking Hope to and from school. Baby Girl will definitely be born sooner than later. With two complications I'm absolutely not going over 40 weeks. Continued prayers are definitely appreciated.

Baby Will Come By.....

Woohoo!!! This week has been AMAZING!!!! I've gotten a ton of work done around the house (just general upkeep, but still...), and I now know Baby Girl will arrive sometime between September 4th and September 10th (if she doesn't come on her own before then). My doctor said yesterday with my blood sugars the way they are he won't let me go over. YAY!!!!!!!!! My sugars are still excellent for GD, but I think it's a standard if there's any complications they won't let you go over.

Baby Girl is definitely her father's daughter. She was up and moving during the NST. She moved away from the heart rate monitor several times, but she was definitely active. By the time I went in for the BPP, she decided to take a little nap. She did everything they wanted her to do, except move. They spent about fifteen minutes poking and prodding my belly, pushing on her head, stomach, anything they could reach to wake her up. She wasn't having it. She was out COLD. Definitely Shaun's kid. With 30 seconds on the clock before we had to stop, she finally moved. I was relieved, because I don't know what my doctor would do if she slept through the whole test. Of course she was kicking away the whole way home. She took so long the nurses called down to see what was going on, because the doctor was waiting on me! How often does that happen?

She has a doctor! This has been a big issue, because Hope's doctor and the doctor I preferred both no longer take patients on the medical card. I desperately wanted to get insurance when she's born, but there's no way it's financially feasible for us. The cost would drop Shaun's take home pay to what he made as an assistant manager. There's no way we could survive. With ObamaCare I no longer feel any guilt or shame in being on state insurance, because pretty much everyone is on government healthcare. Baby Girl will see Dr. Morra with Right From the Start Pediatrics in Shiloh. It's in the same direction as Hope's dance studio, and we go there every other Friday to take her to her dad anyway. Hopefully we can work appointments around her schedule so we're not driving too much. There's only one pediatrician in our town, and no one's heard of her. There is a general practice, but no one I know who use it like it for kids. Everyone agrees to stay away from the pediatricians in Mt. Vernon.

A little update on what supplies she still needs. Please, before you buy or send anything that's not on the registry, ask Shaun or me if we need it. We've received several items from well meaning family and friends in the past few months that aren't practical for our family. Honestly if you want to buy her something the best thing right now is headbands we can attach bows to or gift cards. I know gift cards aren't fun to buy, but they're what we'll need when she's born. We do still have registries at Babies R Us and Target, so you can check there if you want to get an actual gift. There are several things there that we chose because of their functionality and ease of use. If you comparison shop and find a better deal on the same item elsewhere, go for it! We appreciate every effort, but want to make sure the things coming into our home work for our family. We are very limited on space, and we took that into consideration for every item we registered for. I don't want to sound picky or ungrateful, but I've worked so hard the past several years to declutter and downsize our 'stuff' and I don't want to be bogged down with baby items we can't use. She has the smallest room in the house, and we don't have a basement we can store things in. Thank you for all your help and support and understanding our predicament.

I think that sums it up for now. She'll be here sometime in the next three weeks. WOW! I better go pack our hospital bags...

So Close and Yet, So Far

Yesterday was an AMAZING day! My church threw a wonderful book & bow party for Baby Girl. She received dozens of each, and we can't wait to enjoy them with her. She now has enough bows to match every outfit. Too bad she doesn't have hair to go with them.

Baby Girl was measured at my BPP today. She weighs a whopping 6.3 lbs! I'm trying not to panic, since Hope only weighed 6.4 when she was born. I still have almost a month to go. To say I'm ready for her to arrive is an understatement. I'm bound and determined to have a natural birth, but if she keeps growing at this rate I may have to use demerol again. I asked the tech to check for hair, and she could only see a layer of peach fuzz. It's all around her head, but probably not enough for the bows she has. It's probably a good thing she has headbands, too. I'm looking for some more plain elastic ones I can attach bows to, so if you know where to find them, please tell me. At least this time she let us get a few pictures. She has the cutest chubby little cheeks! I absolutely love them.

Last week she misbehaved for the NST. Today she was a little better, but the tech still had to hover over her for a while. I was contracting on my way to the office, but they stopped by the time the NST started.

My sugars were good enough to keep doing what I've been doing. I was checked and I'm not dilated. I can't tell you how disappointed I am. I KNOW it's better for her to stay as long as possible; but knowing her weight just makes me so nervous. I'm afraid she'll get too big for me to deliver. I'm afraid if she's too big I won't be able to have a natural birth. More than anything, I'm afraid I'll have to be induced again. I don't want that. I want to know what it feels like to go into labor naturally. Pray for peace for me in the coming weeks, because the closer we get, the more nervous I become.