Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Midnight Musings

I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I'm torn between "Holy cow, I'm still pregnant?" and "Oh my gosh, we're actually going to bring this baby home!" Some days I'm afraid will be the last, others I'm able to embrace the changes that are coming. She's moving like crazy, so you'd think I'd be secure, but I'm not. My faith has been stretched to new limits this pregnancy; it's by the grace of God we're still here. I'm thankful for each and every day we have with her, but some days I'm still terrified I'll wake up from this dream and something will go wrong.

There's three other women in my church who are expecting (two are in my small group!) and I pray for our babies everytime I see them. I can't believe God is allowing me to be pregnant during our 'Baby Boom'. I should've had the first baby during the last one, but we didn't make it. I keep thinking of the book of Job. There were three women who lost their babies in 2012, and there are six babies due in 2015. When Job lost everything and remained faithful, God doubled everything he lost in the end.

Shaun, on the other hand, is entirely ready for the baby. We've watched a series of birth DVDs, and since we finished last week I can see a change in his attitude. Before he was excited, but almost observing from the outside. Now he's feeling her move more, watching my belly, and talking about when she arrives. The change almost feels surreal, but it's helping me believe we will bring her home. I asked him last week "You're ready for her, aren't you?" and he exclaimed "I've BEEN ready! I can't wait to hold her." If I didn't know the health problems she'd face coming now, I'd probably be ready too! I want her to stay safe and sound inside me as long as she's safe and sound.

She's moving a little bit right now. It seems like she's always moving. Occasionally her nighttime kicks cause nausea! I don't remember Hope having that effect! Hope felt her kick for the first time recently. She's seen my belly move now, too. She asked today if she'll stay with Nana (my mom) while we're in the hospital. My mom lives on the same street as us, so there's no question that's where she'll stay. I need to get my church nursery shifts covered for September, but I keep putting it off. I'm wracking my brain trying to remember how long other moms took off church duties after their babies arrived, and I can't remember at all. I don't want to take too much time and appear lazy, but I don't want to take too little and have to work before I'm ready. I need to pray about it, but for some reason I haven't thought of that.

Shaun took his last week of vacation before she arrives last week. It was nice having him here to help with the daycare kids. His vacation just switched over to a new year, so he now has two weeks he can take right after she arrives and a third week he can take sometime next spring or summer. He was never able to take vacation time as a crew member or assistant manager, so when he started taking it as a manager I was frustrated we couldn't actually GO on vacation. Now I'm just thankful to have him home for a week. I wish there was a way for the three of us to get away even for a weekend before the baby arrives, but I don't see how it would be possible. There's so much else we have to save for.

So many things are coming together; we have a bunch of furniture, she has a dresser full of clothes, and we even have a car seat! Those are the things that make me nervous. What if something happens and we're left with all that stuff? All the reminders of our hopes and dreams? There are other ways we're not close to being ready; we don't have room in our room for the co-sleeper, her room is still in transition mode (and I'm not sure how to finish it...), and I still have a truck that can't hold her for at least the first two years. When I think about all we have left to do and our crazy summer schedule, I'm afraid we'll never finish in time. The big items scare me the most. Things we still need but I'm not sure how we'll manage:

1. A queen size bed
2. A second vehicle that can safely transport her
3. A washer and dryer (I have all the cloth diapers we could possibly need, but no way to wash them! Yikes!)

Okay, I've been awake for over an hour and I only have a little over an hour left to sleep. I'm going to try to get some rest. There will be another update next Monday or Tuesday after my doctor appointment. Please say a prayer that my glucose test comes back normal. God bless!

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Six Months!

I had another appointment today (well, yesterday...), and thankfully there's not much to report. I believe we waited longer than we saw the doctor, which is very unusual for this office. I ran through a list of questions I had. Mostly new symptoms that have been plaguing me. Any little thing that appears is something new to question. I don't worry about them, I just make a note and mention them when I go in. I have messaged my friend (who works at the office) about a couple of symptoms that concerned me, but so far there's nothing to worry about. I'm 'growing beautifully' (his words) and her heartbeat is still strong. Praise God!

Monday morning I had an "Aha!" moment in the shower. Maybe that's not the right term. I was suddenly overcome with shock and relief that we will actually bring this baby home. I just cried and prayed a prayer of thanksgiving for this long pregnancy and the answered prayers for a baby. I'm actually six months pregnant! How did that happen?! God is Good!

Next month I have to take another glucose test. At this stage it's a standard test. We've been eating healthy and I'm trying to exercise, so I'm hopeful I won't have diabetes again. If I do, we'll do our best to control it without insulin. I'll also have an anemia test, which I believe is standard. Please say a prayer that both tests come back negative.

Over the weekend we made a decision about the baby shower. I was struggling to choose a date before she's due, and someone suggested waiting until after she's born. We looked at the calendar and have chosen September 19th. It's a little over two weeks after she's due, so if she's a little late we should be okay. This way everyone who's prayed for us can have the chance to meet her.

I've read a couple of books about birth, and we're trying to write out a birth plan. If you have any tips, we would appreciate it. If there's a book or movie you'd suggest, we're open to it.

I think that's everything for now. Thanks for the prayers!

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

God is AWESOME!

My women's Bible study group is reading the book Gripped by the Greatness of God by James Macdonald. In the second chapter, Mr. Macdonald points out our misuse of the word AWESOME. He explains it should be reserved for God and God alone. After watching God move in my life and the lives of my friends, I quite agree. I will update you on Baby Girl, but I have to share this praise first.

Awesome #1) As I was scrolling through my newsfeed this early morning I noticed a theme of answered prayers. Some were answered years ago while I was still waiting. Others were answered in the past year. A handful (mine included) were answered since January. Most of these friends prayed for years before seeing any results. YEARS. Not days, not months, but YEARS. Awesome #2) Some were asked to wait five years or more, before I even knew them. Think about where you were five years ago. How many prayers has God answered since then? Are you still praying for something? Keep waiting. God is listening. Five years ago we were planning our wedding and I was finishing college. Hope was almost done with preschool. We were praying our family would grow by the end of the year. God had a better plan. Keep waiting, and keep praying.

It may seem strange to call the waiting 'awesome', but I think all my friends would agree their waiting was God ordained. They wouldn't be the same people they are if God answered their prayers on their timeline. That doesn't mean there weren't times they wished he would, it just means they can see the growth and God's power through the hard stuff.

I was talking with my grandma tonight about some huge things we need before the baby arrives. Things we can't buy ourselves, and they're not exactly things you can register for. These are what I call my "God sized prayers." They're things that only God can provide. Years ago in my mommy and me group we were encouraged to pray outside our comfort zones. Pray for the house. Pray for the new car. Pray for the big things, not just the daily needs. Those big things are "God sized prayers." I told my grandma I've finally quit worrying about them, because I believe if God lets us bring this baby home, He'll provide the things we need to properly care for it. That doesn't mean we aren't working our tails off and looking for opportunities to earn more income. It doesn't mean we expect them to drop in our laps. It just means God will work them out in HIS time. If His time isn't our time, we'll work around it. We always have, and we always will. This is one instance though when I truly believe 'God will work all things for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose'. That verse was prayed over William as I carried him, and our sweet Pastor recited a whole passage from Romans over his grave. There's a reason for that. There are some times when all you can do is your best and trust that God will take care of the rest. For us right now, this is one of those times.

Okay, now for the baby stuff.  I never got around to taking pictures of the ultrasounds last night, and this morning my shadow keeps getting in the way. I'll post another blog of just baby pictures as soon as I can. Sorry for the inconvenience. Right away we could see Baby Girl moving around. She was flip flopping every which way except the way the tech wanted her to. We saw the perfect outline of her spine, and we watched as she continued to push her foot over her head. Her heart has four chambers and all her organs are in the right place. She doesn't have a cleft lip, and she even showed off her little girl parts! I was praying for that, because there's always a chance the NIPT is wrong. Hope and my mom were with us, and they loved every second. Shaun wanted to get another animal with her heartbeat so we have one from the beginning, one from the middle, and her at the end. We agreed to let Hope choose. Admittedly we each tried to persuade her towards one animal or another. We were both pleased she chose the lamb, though for different reasons. This heartbeat sounds different from her last one, so I'm thankful we have the mementos. Earlier this week I caught Shaun listening to the teddy bear again and he said "I haven't heard it in a while. I just love listening to it." He's going to be great with a newborn. I'm thankful we get so long to wait and watch each other grow as we wait for her to be born healthy.

That's another thing, I finally believe she will be healthy. I wasn't anxious for this ultrasound. Admittedly I was a tad nervous while we were waiting at the office, but even then it wasn't fearful. It was really more excitement than anything. That is a HUGE praise! I've been terrified to prepare too much or get too excited, because I was afraid as soon as I did God would take her home. This past month all that has changed. We've started cleaning out our bedrooms and the nursery. Hope has made space for a few things we need to move in her room. We've continued to purge the things we no longer need. Two broken televisions that I was convinced would stay in inconvenient places until the day we moved out of this house were disposed of this weekend. That's something else I've spent years praying about, and God answered in his time. One friend gave us almost all her baby girl clothes, since she is now expecting a boy. Another group of friends gave us a whole bag full of clothes and supplies. These were things we hadn't prayed about and weren't even concerned about purchasing, and God took care of it. There's another huge praise that we should have in our home by tonight, and if all goes well I'll update you on that tomorrow.

We're still working. We've planned for me to keep babysitting until school starts. I don't have anyone lined up for fall, but I believe that is God ordained. I'll need some time off before the baby comes, and I don't want too many kids around her during cold and flu season. I'm selling Jamberry wraps to give us a little cushion while I'm on leave. http://amiethomas.jamberrynails.net/ Maybe through Jamberry sales God will provide the income to answer those God sized prayers. Even if those God sized prayers aren't answered this year, God is still God. He's still keeping our Baby Girl healthy and strong. He's still protecting and providing for our family in ways we'll never know.

Now, I think I'm going to try to catch a nap before my alarm goes off. Thanks for reading! And remember, God is AWESOME!

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

It's A...

GIRL!!!!

Chances are if you're reading this you already know we're welcoming another little girl in our home this fall. Since we tried to keep the gender reveal party small, I thought I'd share some of what happened here.

My best friend owns the donut shop in town. Boy is it great to have friends in high places! She made us adorable cupcakes with pink and blue peeps on top and colored sprinkles in the middle. She gave Hope a special yellow peep so we would know which was hers. Another great friend made a "Big Sister" t-shirt for her. I am so thankful for the help and support of everyone!

My aunt and I made pink and blue punch (Shaun's family supplied everything we needed). We had leftover pink and blue plates and napkins from our wedding, so we used those to serve. I wasn't even thinking about babies when I chose our colors, in fact they're quite bright, but it worked out so well! Hope was bouncing off the walls with anticipation. My mom even made Shaun's sister a t-shirt that said "Aunt to Be".

After Hope did the big reveal we discussed names. I explained the names Shaun and I are considering and the significance behind each. We also explained our desire to keep the names a secret until she arrives, just in case we choose our backup instead of our first choice. There was also a great deal of controversy surrounding Hope's name and what we chose to call her, and I don't want to repeat that experience. I'm sure people will have something to say when she's born, and I'm sure I won't always be polite in my response. I was always told when I had kids I would have the chance to name them, and by golly I'll name my kids what I want.

Today I told Shaun to prepare for a ton of pink. I want pink everything; car seat, stroller, dresses, bows, pink, pink, PINK! Her closet will probably look like a page out of Pinkalicious, and that's just how I hope it is. When Hope was born I was afraid to put her in anything other than pink (unless it was a dress, but even most of those were pink) because she had such little hair everyone thought she was a boy. Two years later I still had people asking how old my 'son' was. So yes, I want everything either pink or a dress, or both. I really need to sell some more Jamberry wraps, because I am itching to buy an outfit for her! My website is here if you'd like to buy anything. Thanks for all the prayers and support!

16 Week Appointment

Monday was our 16 week appointment. I spoke with one of the PAs Sunday evening and she assured me the next few should be simple in and out appointments. That sounds fantastic, I just want to know my baby girl is healthy. We snapped a belly bump photo before racing out the door, and arrived with plenty of time to spare.

My doctor mentioned a simple blood draw they can do to check for spina bifida. Though there's no history in my family, I'm considered high risk and that gives great freedom for genetic testing. Since it only involved a blood draw, we opted for it. I've had pain in my gall bladder (that I first mistook for movement), so he ordered an ultrasound for that as well. I asked about some pain and pressure I'm feeling (which he assured me were normal) and we went on our way. It feels so good to have a doctor I can talk to about any random concerns or questions, and not feel like an idiot for asking. This is officially my longest pregnancy in ten years, so it's almost like starting over. There's so much I've forgotten, and even more that I didn't know. I'm also amazed at how much has changed in ten years!

The next morning (Tuesday) my mom took me for the ultrasound. Shaun wasn't feeling well, so he took a sick day and stayed home with the two little guys I was supposed to babysit. My mom had never been to my doctor's office before, so it was nice to show her around a bit. The ultrasound techs were really sweet. One made sure to get pictures of our sweet baby girl after she finished checking what was ordered. It turns out she's much lower than I thought, so I'm still not sure whether or not I'm feeling her move. She's also very active, and didn't want to sit still for pictures or very long to hear her heartbeat.

Today we received a phone call with the spina bifida test results. She doesn't have it! Praise God! I'm overjoyed to still be pregnant, and I'm thankful for each day we have with our little princess. Please keep the prayers coming, because God is listening!

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Great News Followed by Fun Times

WOOHOOOO!!!!! Baby Thomas does NOT have the chromosome disorder William had, and all our tests for genetic diseases have returned negative. PRAISE GOD!!!! We also know the gender, and I'll post pictures and a video after we have our party on Saturday. Pray for me that I can continue to keep the secret until then!

This weekend has been one of the most refreshing I've ever experienced. One of my friends and I went to the Hearts at Home National Conference. It was AMAZING!!! She'd never been, and only recently heard of it. I heard about it ten years ago when I was pregnant with Hope, and have prayed about going every year since. This is the first time God answered my prayer with a "Yes!" and it was so worth the wait. If you're reading this and thinking there's no way you can afford it, I urge you to pray about it. God will provide a way in His time. Even if he doesn't, there are other options I'll talk about at the end of this post. For now, I want to share some of the trinkets and tidbits I brought home with me. None of the links are affiliate links.

From the If Then Move booth I bought a little bracelet to wear everyday. It's part of the Not Just Words line and has #standfirm stitched onto the front. On the back is a small pocket in which you can place your prayer request for the day. Everytime I look at the bracelet, I pray about my request. Here's the website for more info: http://www.ifthenmovement.com/

Graham Blanchard has a new line of board books with headings such as Learn, Absorb, and Praise. These cute books each carry a special message. I didn't hold any or read any, but the pictures are adorable. You can learn more at http://www.grahamblanchard.com

If you'd like to go to a Hearts at Home Conference this year, there is another one coming to Rochester, Minnesota on November 13-14, 2015. If possible, I encourage you to attend. If you can't, and I completely understand (remember, it took ten years for me to make it to one!) Check out http://www.hearts-at-home.org/ for great FREE resources. You can also order conference CDs or DVDs from http://www.catapes.com If you're tech savy you can follow HAH on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest.

Now for the really serious stuff. HAH partners with Compassion International and encourages child sponsorship through their program. If you want to sponsor a child, this is an excellent organization to partner with. I hope to someday sponsor a child who shares William's birthday. Here is their website: http://www.compassion.com/

Compassion International is an excellent organization, but I learned of one that touches my heart even more yesterday. There are an estimated 20 million men, women and children enslaved in sex trafficking throughout the world. Destiny Rescue allows child sponsorships to PREVENT children and teens from falling prey to traffickers, and also allows you to sponsor a child who has been RESCUED from trafficking. If you know me at all, you know the child slave trade is one I am vehemently against. I fight with Facebook posts and prayer, and hopefully this year my family will fight with our money by sponsoring a child for $35 a month. I don't know if we can truly afford that right now, but I will be praying about it until we can. Until then, I am planning on hosting a jewelry party for Destiny Rescue. You can learn more about their parties and how to host your own at their website http://www.destinyrescue.org/us/get-involved/local-volunteers/jewelry-consultants/. I implore you, please, please take a peek and see how God can use your family. Please pray for these precious children.

Thanks for reading my babbling. If you have any questions or want to talk more about any of these topics, contact me anytime. Love to all!

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Bragging Rights

Shaun has been so much fun this pregnancy! Early on he was hesitant to test, fearing my reaction to another negative. Once I finally took a test he happily read the results. We agreed to wait a bit before telling everyone, but once we did, he couldn't contain his excitement! Just Wednesday I had two people tell me stories about him literally bouncing up and down as he shared the news.

At the appointment Thursday he grasped my hand the entire time. He laughed out loud watching our little one on the screen, and he chose the teddy bear we would use for the heartbeat. He changed his profile picture to a photo of the bear while we were waiting to be seen by the doctor. It has been so much fun watching his excitement grow. He still insists it's a boy, but I know he'll be ecstatic with a girl. He took the bear and the ultrasound pictures to work on Friday and showed them to everyone. One of his coworkers said every time she looked at him in the office he had the bear up to his ear, listening to the heartbeat. He has been the sweetest, most excited dad I've ever seen.

So if you seen him in the next few months, be sure to ask Shaun how he's liking the pregnancy. I'm sure he'll have an amusing new anecdote to share!