Obviously October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month. What many people don't realize is there is one day set aside in the month to highlight awareness. That day is today, October 15. All around the world at 7:00 pm families lit candles to represent their children in Heaven. Though we're missing two little ones, we only lit one candle tonight. It's one more than we've ever lit before. This year is the first time I remember hearing about the Wave of Light. This community has been so wonderful for me. For months I turned to the MEND publications for comfort. Since attending a meeting in June, I've been able to reach out to others through Facebook as well. Our amazing leader was kind enough to send me flowers today in memory of sweet William. One of my cats has a flower obsession and kept jumping on the table to sniff (or eat!) them. I yelled at her twice before moving them, and Shaun promised her I would throw her out if she touched them. It was quite funny, since she's more his cat than mine. When I moved them to the top of our tallest bookshelf she glanced from them to me and back again before deciding to give up. I'm thankful they're safe for now!
Anyhoo, without this community I would be so lost. It's nice to be able to check Facebook once in a while and see other moms miss their babies. It's nice to read articles from moms who buried their children many, many years ago. It's comforting to know I'm not alone, and while the pain may dull from time to time, it never fully goes away. So often we see others carrying on and feel pressured to be as 'normal' as possible. It's nice to have those friends who understand when you just can't be 'normal' anymore. It's nice to let your guard down without fear of judgement.
On the flip side, I spoke with a friend today who didn't know me before William. This poor lady met me with tears streaming down my face, and she wrapped me in her arms many, many times that first year. She's held me up in prayer this whole time, and continues to pray for me regularly. Her friendship is so special to me, because it's proof that I can do 'normal' things like build friendships after completely losing my mind. As we were talking today, she continued to refer to my 'strength'. I don't see myself as a strong person at all! In fact, more often than not I feel very, very weak. I'm so thankful for friends like her who aren't afraid to push me farther and help me find my strong characteristics.
Now I know many of you reading this have never experienced a loss like mine. I know many of you never will. Praise God!!! I'm so glad there are women who will never feel my pain. If you're one of the lucky ones, please take the time this month to reach out to one of your friends who has lost a baby. If you don't think you have any, post something about miscarriage and infant loss awareness month, and I'm sure you'll find them. One in four women loses a baby during pregnancy. For decades women didn't talk about it, and were encouraged to 'move on' quickly. Let these women know you care. If you know their child's name, SAY it! If you can afford to, send her a card or some flowers (any day this month, it's never too late). Just let her know you're thinking of her and you care.
Thank you so much for all your support and prayers.
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